Examples of common Beliefs

Here are some beliefs briefly described. They can range from completely silently unconscious to loudly conscious. Can you recognize yourself in any of them? (A more detailed description can be found in the book "Live as you want and not as you were taught" written by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko)

Abandonment You believe that you will be abandoned by those you love. You are afraid of being alone. You cling to people who are close to you. Don't leave me!

Mistrust and vulnerability You expect others to hurt or offend you in some way. You doubt the intentions of others and have a tendency to expect the worst. You assume that those you love will let you down. I can't trust you!

Emotional neglect You are convinced that others will never be able to give you the love you need. You feel that there is no one who really cares about you or understands what you feel. I can never get the love I need!

Outsideness You experience yourself as different. You avoid socializing in groups and meeting new people. You feel inferior in social situations. I don't fit in!

Codependency You feel unable to cope with everyday life without significant support from others. You rely on the help of others and need constant support. I can't manage on my own!

Vulnerability You live with a constant fear that disaster will strike - in the form of a natural disaster, crime, illness or financial ruin. You feel unsafe in life. A disaster can happen at any time!

Shame and worthlessness You feel that deep down there is something wrong with you. You are afraid of love. You have difficulty believing that those close to you can appreciate you and therefore you expect to be rejected. I am worthless!

Failure You feel inferior to others when it comes to performance; at school, at work or in sports. You exaggerate the extent of your failures and behave in ways that make you continue to fail. I feel like such a failure!

Submission You sacrifice your own needs and desires to please others or to meet the needs of others. You let others control you. You do this out of a sense of guilt - that you are hurting others if you put yourself first - or out of fear of being punished or abandoned if you don't comply. I always do what you want!

Perfectionism You constantly strive to live up to extremely high standards for yourself. You probably place the same strict standards on other people. It is never good enough!

Entitlement You feel special. You believe that you should be able to do, say and get what you want, when you want it. You disregard what it may mean for other people. I am right!